I have had a really hard time recently because after a year of living in AZ I have still really missed Connecticut. After our last trip to CT I had a really really hard time coming back, I knew it would be the crash after all the excitement of having a baby, visitors coming and going, and a great trip home. I would also attribute some of the pain and depression I felt to hormones and the changes I was still going through, but mostly I just wanted to feel like we had friends and it was easy and fun to be with them. One night after church was praying that the Lord would really show me if we were supposed to be in AZ…. that he would just give me some sort of confirmation… well James 4 was in my thoughts so I read it and these are the verses that stood out…”Now listen, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.’ Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, ‘If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.'” Okay so this wasn’t the confirmation I was wanting BUT the Lord definitely confirmed that we’re supposed to make the most and the best of where the Lord has us. That was an answer and something I needed to hear.
Last night was one of the nights where I could count on my hand where it was just easy to be with our friends here. We have always felt the need to be “on our game”, and it has only been recently that we have been able to hang out with friends and not feel like we need to be “on our game” the whole time. Seriously SUCH a huge answer to prayer!! Casey and I had some friends over to just relax and play games. It was so refreshing and fun… we felt like we were real humans that actually do things besides tend to their baby.
Isaiah has been getting onto SUCH a great schedule recently that it has enabled us to have so much more freedom in life. He still eats every 3 hours… well 2 hours recently because I swear he’s hit a growth spurt…in the evening he does two feedings 2 hours apart and then goes to sleep between 7:30 and 8:30. He actually gets over-tired if he doesn’t go to bed by then. It’s SO nice!! I then feed him around 11 and he sleeps for about 8 hours. Granted, we do have nights where he will only do 5-6 hours but that’s not as typical anymore!
After the first game we started a second but decided to just sit and relax instead. We ended up just chillen until like 1:30 am but I was totally cool with it because Isaiah has been sleeping 8 hours… but oh wait, last night he decided he’d only sleep 5 1/2 hours. That sucks, but it was a price I was willing to pay to feel human, to feel like we were making a home here and to feel like we were right where the Lord wants us.